Do You Think I've Gone Mad?
by LPHenderson'sGirl
Summary: AU Kendall and Carlos have been best friends forever. Kendall loves Carlos more than life itself and Carlos just can't seem to take the hint that someone might like him. But when Carlos is kicked out after telling his parents he's gay and stays at Kendall's house, will he finally realize what has been right in front of him this whole time? Kenlos slash. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Chances to Zero

A/N: _Helllooo! Wow, it seems like its been forever since I've posted anything! Just been super busy with school, friends, my dad on the east coast helping with the hurricane, and my conflicts with my own self. But I just really wanted to start a new story and I think you guys are gonna like this one! I've been reading a lot of Kenlos lately, like with On the Edge of Ordinary ending *actual tears*, and i just really wanted to write my own. But, anyways, enough of my chatter._

p.s. _i didn't forget about my 'Knight in Shining Armor' rewrite if you think I did. I just haven't had time. (and i just wanted to write this more than that. oops.)_

_ENJOY_

* * *

"_Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?"_

_- The Mad Hatter; Alice in Wonderland._

* * *

Third Person P.O.V.

It started with a look.

Carlos and his father's eyes met briefly before both looked away. The only thing Carlos could see in his eyes was disappointment. His hope faltered at the thought that maybe everything won't really be as okay as Kendall said it would be. Carlos thought he would understand.

"You're gay?" My mother said from her seat on the opposite couch. Carlos was also on a couch, a coffee table between them. His father, who was next to her, was looking at Carlos with a confused facial expression.

Carlos nodded and stuck his hands between his knees, his mother took a long, deep breath. He could practically hear the gears turning in his mind. The only thing Carlos wanted out of all of this is what his father reaction will be. That's what mattered most right now.

"Papi?" Carlos whispered looking up at his father.

When there was no response, he shifted his body awkwardly and averted his eyes. What did he think about him now? If it's taking this long for him to process it, he have no chance. His eyes began to water and he took a deep breath. The silence was so thick, it was becoming nerve wracking.

When it arrived to the point Carlos thought his father was never going to speak, Carlos' father lent over the table between them and slapped him hard across the face. His mother let out a loud gasp just as he did himself. He's never struck Carlos before. The motion shocked Carlos. Why would he do that? Both of his parents stood up, while Carlos just shrank back into the couch cushions, his hand over his burning cheek.

"Out," The man ordered.

"Antonio!" His mother yelled, "What in God's name! He's your son!"

The tears falling silently down Carlos' face as he realized what was going to happen to him.

"No, Stephanie. I can't have him living in this house if _that's _the lifestyle he is going to choose!"

"If you would just listen and talk to him-"

"No!" He roared pointing at Carlos. Their eyes met and Carlos could clearly tell that earliers disappointment was replaced with disgust. "He can't stay here! Grab your things," he pointed at the direction of the stairs. "and get out."

Carlos let out a small noise of fear. When he didn't move, Antonio maneuvered around the short table and yanked Carlos up by his arm. He sucked in a breath.

"Now." Antonio said sharply and pushed Carlos towards the hall.

Carlos moved around him and made his way up the stairs towards his bedroom. Grabbing his duffle bag out from under his bed, he pulled handfuls of clothes out of the dresser and from the closet stuffing them inside. The clothes hangers falling to the floor and clattering on the hardwood. He went into the bathroom and grabbed things from there, putting those in the bag. After he had everything together, he slowly moved down the hallway, not wanting to leave.

"Hurry up boy!" His father said as Carlos stepped off the bottom step. Antonio rushed Carlos out the front door and Carlos turned around to face him.

"Papi..." He begged, "please, I'm your son."

He stared at Carlos before responding and then slamming the door. "You're no son of mine."

Fresh tears came to Carlos' eyes. All he wanted to do now was curl up in a ball right there where he was standing, but that would only make his father angrier. He turned around and started down the sidewalk to the only place he could think to go; Kendall's.

This was easily the worst day of his life, he thought, and the downpour of rain wasn't helping any.

* * *

_Ding Dong!_

Kendall, who was lounging on the couch, watching TV, furrowed his eyebrows and looked towards the door. Who would be knocking at this time of night? He got up, with much protest from his muscles, and opened the front door. He was shocked to be met with his best friend, Carlos, who was soaking wet, crying, and flinging himself into the taller boys arms.

"Kendall!" The small Latino yelped, letting out a sob.

"Carlos! What's wrong, buddy? What happened?" Kendall said panicked as he wrapped his arms around his friend's torso. Him and Carlos had been best friends for years. He has had a huge crush on the younger teen for a while now and Carlos just could not see that, no matter how obvious he was about it. Carlos didn't know Kendall was gay, of course, he was just too nervous on how to tell him, the time wasn't right. But since Carlos is such a ball of energy and life, why was he sobbing and at his house so late at night?

"My dad," He cried. "I-I told him I was gay, Kendall," He tried catching his breath and hiccuped. "He... He kicked me out. He doesn't want me." Kendall's breath got caught in his throat and his eyes widened.

Carlos had come out to Kendall last year, when they were 16, after Kendall caught him making out with a guy at a party. Kendall would have jumped for joy at finding out Carlos was gay, but at the time all he wanted to do was punch the guy he was kissing right in the nose. Kendall had been then trying to get him to tell his parents, but he would always make up excuses why he couldn't. Now he only wished he hadn't pressured him.

"Oh, Carlos," Kendall said softly. He brought his hand up and rubbed Carlos' back.

"Why doesn't he want me?" Carlos whispered. After a couples seconds, Carlos shoved his face into Kendall's shirt and sobbed some more.

"Shh... It'll be okay..." Kendall said trying to comfort the boy. He pulled Carlos away from him slowly and looked into his swollen eyes. Kendall's heart hurting for the boy in front of him. He hated seeing him upset. "Come on, let's go upstairs, you should get changed and some rest after being out in the rain."

Carlos put his head down and nodded, "Okay."

They made their way up the stairs and into Kendall's bedroom. Carlos dropped his bag and unzipped it, pulling out a change of pajamas. As he was in the bathroom across the hall changing, Kendall let out a sigh and pulled back his covers for Carlos. Carlos soon made his way back into the room.

"Where's your mom and Katie?" He asked.

"Mom is still at work and Katie's at a friend's house for the night."

"Oh," Carlos walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge. He rubbed his eyes and then sniffled. "Where are you sleeping?"

"I can just sleep on the floor," Kendall said going over and grabbing a spare pillow and blanket from the closet. He dropped them onto the ground and sat down on them, looking up at Carlos who had tears streaming down his face again. He put his hand on his knee. "Hey, no need to cry. You're okay now. At least you're not out on the streets and still in the rain, right? You have somewhere to stay while your parents think through what happened tonight," He waited a second. "Everything will be okay."

Carlos whipped a tear from his cheek. Kendall temporarily wished he could of done that. He just wanted to kiss all the boys problems away, but he knew he couldn't. Carlos didn't think of him that way.

"You're the best, you know that?" Carlos said weakly. He gave Kendall a half-hearted smile. He didn't mean anything bad by it though, he was just too upset to really be happy and Kendall knew that, giving Carlos a smile too.

"Get some sleep, okay?" Kendall said.

Carlos nodded and Kendall moved about his room changing into sweats in silence, only the sounds of Carlos' random sniffles were heard. When Kendall turned around to make his way back by Carlos' side, Carlos had his head down and his hands to his hair, pulling it hard in his fingers.

"Kendall," He said in frustration looking up at him. "My life is a wreak!" He groaned loudly. Kendall walked over to him and sat back down where he was before.

"But ripping your hair out won't make it better," Kendall said calmly grabbing Carlos' hands. When Carlos lessened his fingers, Kendall slowly lowered Carlos' hands and put them at the boy's sides.

"What am I gonna do, Kenny?" Carts whimpered.

Kendall's heart swelled at the nickname and he let out a sigh. "We'll figure this out tomorrow, okay?"

Carlos nodded in agreement and laid down, pulling the blanket over himself. Kendall situated his little bed for the night and laid down on his back and only minutes later Kendall could hear the soft snores from his best friend.

He laid awake, staring up at the ceiling, for what seemed like forever, thinking about what they were going to do. His mom wouldn't care if Carlos stayed with them, he kind of already did with how much he was over, so that was taken care of. The thing though, that he couldn't wrap his head around was his parents reaction. They were such loving and accepting people, the thought of them kicking Carlos out just wasn't right. If Kendall had known that they would have reacted that way he would have never told Carlos to tell them, but he simply thought it would have been fine. How wrong he was.

He rolled over on his side and closed his eyes, he could feel sleep calling. He gladly answered.

* * *

Carlos woke up to the strong smell of bacon. Looking over the edge of the bed to get a glimpse of Kendall, Carlos discovered Kendall wasn't even there, and that it was well after one o'clock in the afternoon. Sitting up and stretching his arms and legs, Carlos made his way downstairs. The musk of breakfast may smell great, but he was only longing for some more comfort. He walked into the kitchen to find Mama Knight cooking eggs for a very late breakfast.

When she saw him, she set down the spatula in her hand and smiled at him softly. "Good afternoon, Sweetheart," she said.

"Hey... I guess you know why I'm here, right?" He said awkwardly.

She nodded, "Kendall told me a little bit, but he didn't tell me all of it. Just that you and your parents had a fight and you'll be needing a place to stay for a while."

"Where is Kendall?" Carlos wondered.

"He just got in the shower right as you came down," she pointed towards the hallway, where you could hear the light patter of the water running.

"Oh," he said taking a seat on one of the stools at the island. Mama Knight set a plate in front of him with bacon, scrambled eggs and a slice of toast. He picked up the fork, but didn't make any other move to start eating. Mama Knight wiped the grease off her hands on her apron and cleared her throat.

"So," she started. "tell me what happened."

Carlos continued to just stare at his cooling plate of food.

"Hey," She said. He looked up at her without moving his head. "I have to know if you're going to be staying here. You can tell me."

Carlos took a deep breath. She was right, she has the right to know. Besides she's been like a second mom to him since he was a mere three feet tall. "I told them some important news, I thought they would understand, but they told me to leave. Well, my dad did, my mom didn't do anything."

"What did you tell them?"

Carlos bit his lip nervously. If he told her, she wouldn't kick him out too, would she? I mean, he thought his parents wouldn't and look at what happened there. A slap in the face, and pretty much disowned.

"I told them..." He closed his eyes and finished the test a quickly as he could, "I'm gay."

A few seconds later, she responded, "You've gotta be kidding me! Well, that's just downright ridiculous!" She exclaimed. Carlos shot his head up at her, his mind going for the worst. She thinks I'm disgusting, he thought. Before he could say anything, she continued, "I mean, being gay is no big deal! You can't help who or what you love! They should know that! You're just a young man, they should be happy you decided to tell them! You know, most boys your age never tell their parents their entire lives!"

"Where did you read that? Your girly, mother magazines?" Kendall joked walking into the kitchen, his hair wet and his pajamas from last night back on. He sit down on the stool next to me and Mama Knight set a plate like mine in front of him. He patted my back. "How are you feeling?" He asked me with a smiled as he dove into his food.

I smiled back and then shrugged, "Okay."

"Carlos," Mama Knight said. "I'm perfectly okay with you being gay. I still love you just as much."

Carlos smiled and stabbed his eggs with his fork, "Thank you."

"So what are you boys doing today?" She asked, cleaning up the kitchen counters.

Kendall swallowed the mouthful of food he had and then turned to Carlos. "I was thinking we invite James and Logan over and tell them what's going on."

Oh yeah, James and Logan, Carlos forgot about them. They were Carlos and Kendall's other best friends.

"It's okay if they come over, just don't make a mess of my house," Mama Knight said exiting the kitchen.

"Wouldn't dream of it!" Kendall called after her, getting up and putting his plate in the sink. "I'm gonna go call the guys."

Carlos nodded and looked at his plate, it was still covered in food and cold as could be. "I didn't eat of it." He said softly.

Kendall put his hands on his shoulders and tried to meet his eyes. "Hey, it's okay. I wouldn't have eaten either."

"I'm going to go get dressed." Carlos said trying to get the subject to drop.

"Okay," Kendall said, he looked at his hands and then slowly removed them. He went to go get his phone as Carlos made his way up the stairs.

* * *

Carlos took his sweet time getting dressed. After about three shirt changes, he just decided on a sweatshirt and basketball shorts. Who was he going to impress? Carlos realized he should go downstairs when he heard James' loud voice ring through the house, but when he opened the door he was meet with all three of his friends.

"So, what is this shit about you and your parents getting in a fight?" Logan asked walking past him into the room.

"Yeah, Kendall didn't give the story justice over the phone. Did you say 'Oh my God' in front of your mom again?" James joked walking past him too.

"Or did you forget to lock the door while you jacked off again?" Logan laughed, sitting on the bed, James doing the same. Carlos blushed at the memory, that was one of the most embarrassing days of his life, having his dad walk in while he had his pants down.

"Very mature," Carlos said. He closed the door and turned to them. James and Logan were sitting on Kendall's bed like it was their own, while Kendall stood near Carlos.

There was silence before James spoke up, "As much as I love the quiet, I would like to know what happened." He said looking at Carlos.

"Same here," Logan said.

"Well... Umm..." Carlos was lost at words. He really didn't want to keep talking about this, it was hurting him more as he did. It shouldn't be that hard though, considering they knew he was gay already. "I finally told my parents I'm gay and they threw me out." The two boys how were new to the news let out a gasp.

A few moments of silence later, it finally hit Carlos harder than when he had actually been kicked out.

He _was_ kicked out. He was practically an orphan. _His family didn't want him. _Tears stung his eyes.

"Oh my God," Carlos announced loudly, catching them all by surprise. "I have no family, you guys! They didn't want me anymore..." He cried throwing his hands up and into his short hair. He pulled it roughly, practically ripping it out like the night before.

"Hey, no," Kendall said grabbing his wrists and taking him into a crushing hug. Carlos began to cry. "don't start that again. You have family. We're your family."

Carlos began to weep in his arms, causing Kendall to hold him tighter. "B-But Kendall, they're my p-parents! They're s-supposed to love me forever! They p-p-promised me!"

The other three boys' hearts broke at the words he was saying. Carlos was the one of the four, that was the most serious about promises. Seeing Carlos cry like this, caused Kendall's eyes to water.

Kendall led Carlos over to bed that the other two were on, they moved out of the way, and sat him down. Carlos and Kendall held onto each other the entire time.

It seemed like hours before Carlos began to sniffle and whimper as he settled down a little bit. His tears had stained Kendall's t-shirt and the only thing keeping him sane was the boy he clung onto's rapid heartbeat.

"Carlos... What happened to your cheek?" James asked quietly.

Carlos, while he was still pressed against Kendall, brought his hand up to his cheek and winced when he put pressure on it.

Kendall maneuvered him to see what James was talking about. "I didn't even notice that."

"It's very faint. Looks like a bruise," Logan said in a hushed tone.

"What happened?" Kendall questioned orderly.

Carlos molded himself back into Kendall chest, "I don't know," He said playing dumb.

The other three obviously saw through the facade and face each other with looks of knowing before looking back at him.

"Carlos, come on. No more secrets," Kendall said not even acknowledging the irony in that statement towards himself.

Carlos stuck his face into Kendall's shirt and mumbled something inaudible.

"Huh?" Kendall said.

Carlos groaned and shook his head.

_"Carlos,"_Kendall warned.

"My father slapped me," he finally said softly.

_"What!" _Three of the boys screeched.

"Your father hit you last night and you didn't think to tell me?" Kendall asked. He wasn't gonna lie, he felt a little betrayed. Carlos and him were supposed to tell each other everything, but thinking that would just be hypocritical. Carlos was still in the dark with Kendall's sexuality and feelings.

"When I told them, they didn't say anything at first, but after a couple minutes my dad just lifted his hand and slapped me. Then he told me to get out..." Carlos explained. He laid his head on Kendall's shoulder and closed his eyes. Kendall looked down at the Latino and he could see why he had fallen for him. How could you not?

The little scene before Logan and James didn't unnoticed. They had talked about it together and it was obvious to the both of them that Kendall and Carlos had the hots for each other. Kendall was obvious about his feelings for Carlos, but Carlos didn't notice. Carlos refused to believe it was anything more than being close friends.

"What about your mom?" James asked trying to act like nothing was happening between the two in front of him, "What was she doing during all this?"

"She yelled at him after he slapped me, but then she didn't do anything else..."

"Well, that's bullshit," Logan said, "I mean, she was like another mother to us," He motioned between Kendall, James, and himself, "and wouldn't stick up for her own flesh and blood!"

"I know! It just doesn't make sense." Kendall said with his chin sitting on the top of Carlos' head. Carlos didn't seem to mind. Carlos pulled away from Kendall and sat back. Kendall was already missing the contact.

"Guys, can we, like, not talk about this anymore? I just want to... I don't know, can we go watch some movies or something?" Carlos said, ears turning red.

"Yeah, sure," Kendall said standing up.

The four of the them went downstairs and into the living room.

"What movie?" Kendall asked Carlos as they all situated themselves on the two couches.

"Doesn't matter," Carlos said slightly exhausted from crying.

When the movie starts and they're all comfortable, it isn't long before they all are asleep.

* * *

When they all woke up hours later, from Mama Knight and Katie making noise in the kitchen. Logan and James said their goodbyes and went on their way home. Kendall helped Carlos upstairs to bed.

As Kendall sat down on his little makeshift bed, Carlos was rummaging through his bag. He pulled out his phone and turned it on.

"Kendall," He said quietly, moving to sit on the bed. "I have no messages."

Kendall looked at his in confusion, waiting for him to continue.

"They didn't try to contact me all day... They're not even sorry..."

"We'll just stop by tomorrow and talk to them, okay?"

Carlos nodded and laid down, sighing. "But we have school tomorrow," He said.

"Oh yeah," Kendall completely forgot. He made a mental note to set his alarm and mimicked Carlos by laying down and covering himself with a blanket. "After school we'll go."

Kendall didn't receive a response from Carlos before he fell asleep.

* * *

A/N: _Do you guys like it? Was it good? Was it bad? What grammar errors stuck out to you? i need to know these things._

_Please Review and tell me if you want me to continue! :)_

_Xoxo, Jennie._


	2. Chapter 2: Classroom Confessions

A/N: _Not going to say anything much just that this chapter does have a little self-harm. Hope you guys still like it._

_ENJOY_

* * *

"_Off with their heads!"_

_- The Red Queen._

* * *

"Carlos, we're gonna be late," Kendall said shaking Carlos awake for the third time.

"Alright, one more minute," Carlos said swatting Kendall's hands away, but not opening his eyes.

"Now," Kendall said. When Carlos didn't make any movement, Kendall sighed. "Do you want me to get my mom?"

Carlos sat up with his eyes still shut, "I'm up."

Kendall smiled. "Good. Now, get dressed," He said moving into the bathroom.

Carlos got dressed lazily; he really did not want to go to school. Just thinking about it gave him the jitters, mostly because; his mother was his English teacher.

When the four best friends reached freshmen year, Carlos' mother, Stephanie, got a job being a sophomore English teacher. So, of course, when the boys were heading into 10th grade it was only logical for all of them to be in her class. She could keep them in line. Now, just the thought of walking into her classroom made Carlos think of ten ways to fake a fever.

When Kendall exited the bathroom, Carlos walked over to him and put his head against his shoulder, "Kendall, I have to see my mom today," He said closing his eyes.

"Not until after school," Kendall said pulling Carlos away from him.

"Are you dumb?" Carlos lifted an eyebrow.

"What?" It finally dawned on Kendall a moment later. "Oh... Yeah..."

"What am I gonna do?"

"Just don't say anything to her unless she says something to you first."

Carlos nodded. "Good idea."

"Carlos! Kendall! You guys are going to be late!" Mama Knight yelled from downstairs.

"Shit!" Carlos said scurrying into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Kendall smiled. "I'll tell her you'll be down in a minute."

Carlos poked his head out of the door frame, toothbrush in his mouth. "Thanks."

While Kendall was downstairs, Carlos couldn't help but think. What if when he walked into his mom's classroom and she welcomed him with opened arms, whispering sorry into his ear? It could happen and he was well for it. But also, she could tell him to leave and not come back. It was just that easy, and it scared him.

He quickly made his way downstairs, backpack in hand, and then Kendall and he were on their way to school in silence. Both with the same question on the mind; what is going to happen when they walk into class at exactly 8:00?

When they walked in the front door they got curious looks from teachers and fellow classmates, some were whispering to themselves. Carlos kept his head down not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. James and Logan were waiting for them at their lockers, which were right next to each other. They grabbed their English binders and then closed their lockers when they were done, leaning on them to face the other two.

"Do you guys hear the things people are saying around here?" James said.

They both looked at him and shook their heads.

"Apparently, someone saw Carlos being kicked out by his parents." Logan said.

Carlos' eyes widened and he looked around. People who were already looking at them turned away.

"What? How? It was pouring that night and it was late, how'd they see?" Kendall asked standing closer to Carlos.

"I don't know how they saw, or who saw, but they saw you with a bag, crying, and being pushed out the front door of your house." Logan said.

"It's all everyone's talking about. Don't know why though, you'd think we'd have better gossip at this school." James implied, standing on the balls of his feet.

Carlos turned and put his forehead on his locker, hitting it on the metal. "No, no, no, no." He repeated over and over, each time smacking his head.

Kendall pulled him away from the wall, "Hey, stop it."

Carlos had a habit of hurting himself when he was stressed, upset or nervous. Not majorly, just things like pulling his hair, hitting his head on surfaces (not terribly hard, but hard enough to make himself wince). There were times, though, when he was upset enough that he would pinch his skin on his forearms. He had marks on his arms from doing it. He only did it when, he was most upset as he could get. He did it when his dog, Sparky, died after he had let the dog out by accident without a leash and was hit by a car or when they were in 5th grade, and he put James in the hospital with a broken elbow just days before the school play James was staring in premiered.

The last time any of the guys caught him doing it was in 8th grade, when he didn't make the hockey team and one of the guys on the team called him pathetic and not good enough to play. Kendall had to practically brand it into Carlos mind that that guy was wrong and that he'll make the team the next year, which he did. It's just something he's always done since they were little and Kendall is the only other one, besides Mrs. Pena, that could make him stop when he was doing it. He never listened to anyone else.

"I really don't need this right now," Carlos complained rubbing his forehead.

"I know," Kendall said.

The bell rang and Carlos' heart started beating faster. Kendall grabbed his hand and held it tight. Carlos told himself twice that it was just a comforting gesture and nothing more.

"You ready?" James asked.

Carlos took a deep breath and nodded. They all made their way towards the English hallway, people looking at them as they walked by. When they made it to the door, Carlos turned around and tried walking away, but they held him in place. "Actually, I lied. I'm not ready."

The warning bell rang, signaling to them that they had one more minute before they were late. They all gave him a look.

"Carlos, you have to go to class." Kendall said.

He continued to struggle against them, "I think I'm coming down with something-"

"Oh no you don't. You can do this, Carlos. Remember, you don't have to say anything to her if you don't want to." They pushed him in the room, and he took note that everyone was already sitting down, looking at him too. James, Logan and Kendall took their seats by each other, but Carlos continued to stand in the front of the room.

There was his mother. She was writing the day's agenda on the whiteboard. She hadn't even seen him come in. The bell rang.

"Okay, class," She turned around. "Today we will-" She stopped when she saw Carlos standing across from her.

The whole classroom fell into an uncomfortable silence as they stared at each other. From his seat, Kendall could tell by where her eyes traveled, she could see the bruise on his cheek.

Carlos just stared at his mother, his muscles stiff and his heart racing. How could this woman just kick him out? How could this woman just stand by while he was kicked out? This was one of the nicest women anyone could know, and she couldn't even accept her own son. His eyes watered, but he refused to let tears fall.

"Mr. Pena, what are you doing in here?" She said startling him, along with the class. He was her child; they went by a first name basis. It was only logical.

Carlos gave her a confused look.

"What do you mean, Mrs. Pena? He's always been in this class first period," Logan said from his seat.

She looked at Logan briefly, before looking at Carlos again.

"You have been switched into Mr. Shomin's English class," She capped the expo marker that was in her hand and set it on the white board's edge. Carlos' eyes widened in disbelief, "I'm going to have to ask you leave."

Carlos took a step back and let a tear fall. "But, mom-"

"Now," She said sharply.

More tears fell down his cheek and he looked at his friends. He turned and walked towards the door, but stopped abruptly and turned to look at his mother. She was looking at her shoes.

"Am I not good enough for you or something?" He said walking up to her. She looked up at him shocked.

Her eyes softened. "Look-"

"No, you know, I thought telling you I was gay would bring us closer together," Some students in the room gasped. "But you just can't seem to look around it, can you?" He hissed.

When she didn't say anything he continued. "You're my _mother. _You're supposed to love me forever, and _you're_gonna love me forever. You're not just going to stop. So I hope you think about that because this is who I am," He gestured to himself. "And I think that's pretty fucking good enough for you."

She gasped, along with the class, and opened her mouth to retaliate, but nothing came out. Carlos turned away and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Stephanie took slow steps to her seat at her desk and sat. She rubbed under her eyes.

"Just read chapters 7 and 8 from your books today and we'll talk about them tomorrow," She whispered and put her head in her arms on her desk. No one said anything or moved, while Kendall, Logan and James stood up and left the room.

"Where do you think he went?" Loan said as they roamed the hallways.

"Easy; boys' bathroom on the second floor," Kendall said as they took the stairs to the next floor.

"How do you know that?" Logan asked.

"I know my Carlos," Kendall said looking ahead, not seeing anything wrong that sentence.

James smirked and met eyes with Logan, who had a matching smirk of his own. "You said 'my Carlos'."

Kendall ears turned red as he grasped the bathroom door handle. "You heard me wrong."

James put his hands up in defense, "If you say so."

Kendall glared at him and opened the door.

"Carlos?" Kendall called strolling in. A sob came to their ears and they all looked towards the only stall that was occupied.

"Go away," Carlos mumbled from the other side when Kendall tried to open the door.

"We're not leaving until you open the door and talk to us." James said.

Carlos' cries were continued to be heard and then a low groan. Kendall looked at the tan door in front of him, knowing what Carlos was doing and he jiggled the handle again. "Carlos, buddy, everything will be okay. Just stop hurting yourself and open the door," Kendall waited a second before adding, "_please._"

A couple moments later, they could hear shuffling from the other side and the click of the lock. When Carlos came into view, Kendall pulled him into a hug. Carlos buried his face into the crook of Kendall's neck.

Carlos and Kendall were the huggers of the four. They hugged people a lot, they liked to use it as a way of comfort. So when you got one of them upset, the other one was always around with open arms. James and Logan came closer and James put his hand on Carlos shoulder, while Logan rubbed his back.

Carlos continued to cry softly. After he sniffled a few times, he spoke up, "Did you see it in her eyes, the disgust?"

Kendall gripped him tighter.

"She doesn't think you're disgusting. She had a conflicted expression and posture, like she was unsure with what she was doing. I don't think she meant it." Logan said.

"She told me to get out. She had my _schedule_changed. She doesn't even want me in her class. What does that tell you?" He argued. Kendall ran his fingers through Carlos hair.

"She feels guilty," Logan said.

"She's disgusted with the thought of me in her classroom," Carlos said stubbornly.

Logan let out a breath. He obviously wasn't going to win against Carlos, but he knew he was right. He could feel it.

They stood in silence as Carlos tried to even his breathing.

"Will you show us?" Kendall said, his cheek pressed flushed against the top of Carlos' head. They all knew what he was referring to; his arm.

Carlos let go of Kendall, taking a small step back and held up his arm, palm up. His eyes traveled down along with the other three. His hoodie's sleeve covering what they wanted to see. Kendall held his hand as he pulled his sleeve up, scrunching it up at his elbow. Down his arm, starting at his wrist were pinching marks. There was a dozen of them at most. Some were red and some were already turning purple.

"Oh, Carlos..." Kendall said rubbing his hand lightly over them.

"I'm sorry," Carlos said shyly.

Kendall pulled Carlos' sleeve back down and faced the other two. "I'm going to call my mom and have her pick me and Carlos up. Can you guys get my stuff from the classroom?"

They nodded. Kendall put an arm around Carlos and walked him out the door. James and Logan went back to English class. They didn't realize how much time had actually past until they were about to walk into the front office, and the bell rang telling them that first period was over. When people started filing into the hallways, Carlos shrank into Kendall side and whined.

"It's alright," Kendall said rubbing his hand up and down the boy's arm.

After Kendall called his mom and told her what happened, including Carlos' pinching which all the boys' parents knew about, it wasn't long until she was there, stomping into the front office.

"Carlos, baby, are you okay?" She said in a frantic.

He nodded from his place on Kendall's shoulder.

"I'm taking you both home and making you some of my home made hot chocolate," She said, escorting them from the building and to her car. Carlos cracked a smile, but it only lasted a mere second.

* * *

Once they made it home, Kendall pulled him into the living room and onto the couch as Mama Knight coiled into the kitchen. Kendall made Carlos gave him, but Carlos refused to meet his eyes. Kendall grabbed his hands, feeling a spark when their hands met, but pretended he didn't for Carlos' sake.

"Carlos you said you stopped pinching."

"I did stop, that was the first time since 8th grade that I've done it," He waited. "I needed to do it."

"Why'd you need to do it?"

Carlos didn't answer right away. "I needed to feel something. I needed to make sure this was real and was really happening." Kendall brushed his hand along Carlos' marked arm. "I'm sorry I did so many."

"It's okay; it was the heat of the moment. You were upset. Just don't do it again, please."

"I won't, I promise."

Kendall pulled Carlos into a hug.

"Your hot chocolate's done! Careful it's hot." Mama Knight said from in the kitchen. Kendall looked at Carlos and stood up.

"You ready for the best hot chocolate you'll ever have in your whole life?" Kendall said with a cheeky smile, offering his hand to him. Carlos took it, smiling. A real smile, a smile he hasn't bestowed in days. Kendall had a weird way of helping him forget what was happened around them, if only for a little while.

"I'm holding you to that statement."

They continued to hold hands all the way into the kitchen.

* * *

A/N: _Hope you guys still like this story and you liked this chapter! :)_

_Please review, I would love to know what you think!_

_Xoxo, Jennie._


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